METALLICA

Metallica: Through The Never; A Review With Carefully Annotated Spoilers So You Can Read It Even If You Haven't Watched The Film.

The title was so catchy I shortened it to the first word (without the colon) for the post title.

But yes, I'm going to review the film with carefully highlighted spoilers so that those who haven't seen it can read this. I hate spoilers more than anything, the last thing I'd want to do is hurt someone in the same way.


Before I even go into Through The Never let's think back to earlier Metallica films. And by films I'm not even going to go into the making of the Black Album (because I haven't seen it) I'm just going to write about Some Kind Of Monster, if you haven't seen it, do.

Side Note: I am sat here in the Conservatorium Van Amsterdam, enjoying the fairly priced tea whilst writing this blog post and I kid you not; there is a man at the table next to me with a white billowing shirt on, half unbuttoned, playing the lute to a gaggle of females. I know there's a classical department here but this is a whole new level. I'd take a picture to share with you all but I've not got a decent camera, if you want one, please send me a DSLR. Maybe the Canon EOS 50d. Then you'll have your photo, plus or minus a video.

Oh and on another side note. Before I get too far into this review (when it begins) I made a video of Hayden and I's time so far in Amsterdam. The video is titled 'Amsterdam'.

Coming soon: Dirk's reaction video.






Right here:

Also, I have put in my first contribution to the Heavy Metal Buffet from Amsterdam on the latest episode. Have a listen, the episode is hilarious as well. And of course some great metal:






Now to METALLICA: THROUGH THE NEVER

I was so excited to see this film. I was giddy, there were butterflies in my stomach (partially due to me eating oysters accidentally, so allergic reactions too were flurrying).

The trailer was fantastic and if you haven't seen it, or heard about the film, at least watch this before reading the rest of this post:

So yes the basic backbone of the film is constructed of two columns. Column one: The most awesome Metallica concert you could ever imagine, amazing stage, props and set list. Column two: a young roadie is sent out to pick up a package for the band and on his journey, to retrieve said package (that he's not allowed to look inside of), he finds the world outside the venue is now in an apocalyptic state. The two columns intertwine and often mirror each other with amazing visual results.


The first column: The Metallica Concert

Holy shit it is awesome.

I dream of going to a Metallica gig like that in the future. They actually did a run of eight real gigs, all sold out; and out of those they took the live performance footage and made it into Through The Never. (I'd like to mention now that within the story line the concert is described as a one off show). I just hope they will go on tour with that show now, I would pay a lot to see it. A lot more than $12,000,000 for this painting:

(If I actually had the money.. and then more to spare after paying all that for a ticket to one concert.)


That, by the way, is a painting from Lars' art collection, not the one from Some Kind Of Monster, a latter one, as he says, he is always buying and selling art "Because, um, you can't, um, own art."

Don't take Lars' or my words on it. Check out this blog, if you want to see dedication click the link to this blog that writes solely on Lars' art collection, I haven't worked out yet whether it's serious:

http://larsulrichscollection.blogspot.nl/



Sorry for the distraction.



                      And back to
                      Through The
                      Never:









Oh man, the audience that got to go to the live show for the recording of this film are some of the luckiest people. The stage itself  and the props were mind blowing. When watching it you forgot you were watching a movie, with an added story line, as you were so easily immersed in the concert. Also as the concert was performed specifically to be filmed you got to see the greatest close ups in amazing focus, never mind the fact that the whole movie was made specifically for Imax's so the visuals and 3D was stunning.

At one point I thought one of the audience members in the cinema was throwing the horns. Didn't even realise at first it was within the film.

-Although I wouldn't have been too surprised if it was an audience member, the crowd was generally, peacefully headbanging to themselves throughout.


The stage show though was amazing, and their performances were fantastic. Also, after watching that I'll be so excited to see them live again, I hope I can, as I will have a better understanding of what it's like close up from seeing the film. They had some good cameramen. I've read arguments elsewhere online that the camera work was shoddy and often not focused on anything in particular, I'd have to disagree. They captured the atmosphere perfectly, which is more than just getting the nice focus shots and filming every second of the solo from multiple angles. It's about getting those wider shots, the ones that have little going in, the areas your eyes move to when your watching a live show, greedily trying to absorb the whole stage and venue in. Also everyone in the band looked to be properly enjoying themselves, which I'm not surprised anyway, the venue was full and the fans sing along throughout. And then a few more singing along in the cinema.

Also, I've trawled through so many comments on "blackheads" "saliva" and more. Why do people criticise that like it's a bad thing. It's not metal when it tries to airbrush it and make it pretty. Musicians spit on stage. They filmed real concerts with real performances. You should embrace all the aspects of that. Not complain when the realness of it offends you.


To the second column: The story of the Roadie.

Dane Dehaan plays Trip, one of the roadies for the band who is sent out on an errand during the show. Which is a shame because he is obviously one of Metallica's greatest fans. Dehaan is a great actor, I'd already seen him before in A Place Beyond The Pines and, one of the greatest found footage films to date Chronicle (go see it).

By the way the spoilers are highlighted so just scroll down to the plain old black on white and you'll be fine.

BEGINNING OF SPOILERS:

Ok, so the film's premise is two story lines, and I can talk about the stage show in general quite a lot without revealing spoilers, however I think Trip's journey, is one that those who haven't seen the film yet, should know little about.

He takes a pill, drives the van past a red light, subsequently is crashed into, then carries on his errand by foot, and soon walks into a confrontation between rioters and police. This is only the beginning of the nightmare, before things start to become even more inexplicable and by that I mean the horseman... and I suppose the puppet from the truck.

So the horseman is awesome, he is cool and mean and a total ass. Who's side is he on? Who's side is anyone on in this world? It's the apocalypse and it teaches us that during a Metallica concert anything, anything, could be going on outside but as long as they don't teeter into Lulu everything. is. fine.

I suppose, rather than dissect in any great detail the story that unfolds for the roadie, I ended up wondering about what is real and what is not? Before he even leaves the venue he pops a pill. Call me ignorant but I didn't know what that was, and I suppose the film makers (hiyi Metallica) don't want you to know either, the same way I suppose they don't want you to know what's in that bag. Which is an over used cliche. Tarantino nailed it Pulp Fiction, why pick this up again? Especially when Trip finally does get the bag and looks into it he looks completely horrified by it's contents. Which makes Metallica seem almost seedy. Then I think - is this the band's greatest joke in the film? They want to have that metal edge, they could be capable of all evil and it could be in that bag, but you will never know. I don't know Metallica. Answer me please.

But yeah, the roadie, the possible trip, the possible concussion, the possibility that everything that happened is in fact real. Whatever it was it all ended when he got Mjölnir's hammer and went Thor-style bad ass all over that evil rider. Thanks Trip and thanks voodoo puppet that I got overly emotionally attached to during the film.

I have a feeling perhaps we're not meant to fully understand Trip's story line.



END OF SPOILERS.

Look at Lars' approval.

So this was my review on Metallica: Through The Never and my summary is:

Go watch Metallica: Through The Never, even if you aren't a Metallica fan. It is, in essence, a Metallica concert with glimpses of another story line mirroring the songs. However, if you are not a fan, do not let that put you off. Metallica have done something no band has done to date; they have made an amazing piece of cinema of the most awesome gig. They have successfully captured themselves in a stunning film that will remain for all time. I thoroughly enjoyed this film and will buy it as soon as it's on DVD to watch again. Even without the whole Imax experience (which they nailed). I am pleased that Metallica found a new way in which to reach people with music and have the balls to have tried something completely different. Although I would have enjoyed more music from Death Magnetic, one song was not enough.

Plus the best part of the entire film is when Trip comes into contact with each band member at the very start. Metallica. Gold. (Ecstasy of).


To sum it up in an even shorter fashion, Hayden Hook, ladies and gentlemen:

"What I liked about it was that no matter how many concerts you watch you'll never see one in such detail... It was like a cinematic concert"

He says more:

"Metallica are definitely the first band to actually film a full concert in such a cinematic way. The film is the concert and a story. You're never going to get that view point of the band on stage from just a tour DVD."

Thank you Hayden. And thank you for reading this blog post. I hope you go out and see Metallica: Through The Never, and if you have already, feel free to discuss further any ideas from this blog. 



And finally an image proving James Hetfield is indeed the Master:

Thanks to:
http://www.metalhammer.co.uk 
http://larsulrichscollection.blogspot.nl/ 
http://deanoworldtravels.files.wordpress.com 
www.joblo.com 
http://www.blabbermouth.net 

Everything on Blogger is now Dutch

So remember last time I blogged and told you I was going to share more about myself and what I actually do. Well, let's dive head first into this next blog post with some real news about myself and boyfriend Hayden. We are now living in Amsterdam! (hence Blogger automatically turning everything Dutch).

My options are now called 'Opties'.

Yes, we packed up and left Shetland on Monday 16th. A few days into living in Amsterdam and I think I'm settling in comfortably, I bought a bike (bike seat isn't comfortable - Lars, my Swedish DJ flatmate told me it takes about a week for the pain to subside, then you can cycle in ease all the time). I've unpacked and settled into the flat. Also started working out how to register, get a job, bank account, choose life.

I get you Jess

I've never really been unemployed or not studying since I was 15, it feels like I have all the time in the world, and it makes me feel really, really sleepy. I know it's only been a couple of days, I don't want to exaggerate, I suppose the overall feeling is that I don't know exactly when I'll be working again. So, in the midst of applying for forms and that I thought this would be a great time to write a blog. I'm excited to live here, although I will miss family, friends, Shetland, also not to forget the Heavy Metal Buffet and Maddrim (which I will still be working with both while away!) However, since coming here in my childhood for the Summer, it does feel like a home already. And then, Amsterdam blessed me with a surprise visitor, check out this great photo:

SNES and ladybirds - the very embodiment of the Netherlands

Also, what with the internet and it's friendly attributes like Skype I can still talk to my friends. Like Lizzy and Ewan:

It's cool, I don't think they read this blog. They'll never know.

I'm going to keep this blog post short. Mainly because I am about to write one up all about my thoughts on Kick-Ass 2, a review if you will, but before that I wanted to post you some news from my move, and a big HIYI to all, and CHEERIO I suppose.

In a few final notes. Remember that 24 hour film Maddrim made for Screenplay, probably some of the most fun, although very tiring, I've had since Up Helly Aa. That kind of never ending hellery.

See blog post:
Accelerator Cables? Where we're going we don't need accelerator cables..

Here is our 24 hour film Small Steps:

Finally, before leaving Shetland, amidst all the packing, goodbyes, wedding and blues (festival) we had a grand old session in the basement recording a four part series of buffet episodes with a live studio audience. This was a great send off and I'd like to thank the audience who came along and the Buffet Team, in particular Dirk, for all the work in preparing that. He is my brother and now he is your brother.

So before you leave, have a listen to the first episode in this four part-er and learn about Dirk, Jamie D's and my favourite buffet moments as well as Five Finger Death Punch's new song Battleborn and, in my opinion the greatest AC/DC song ever. Listen and find out which one it is:




Yes, I have finally learned how to properly insert soundcloud clips. Another revolutionary moment for my blog. Gifs and sounds. Together you've got a film.


CHEERIO

Coming soon: Why not to watch Kick-Ass 3


Thanks to:
http://heyitsanythingandeverything.tumblr.com/
Skype
Lars on the sage seat advice

That week Dirk uploaded five buffet episodes because no one was keeping an eye on him

Hello

I hope your all well, I have RSI, so this is being typed with one hand. (You're choice to believe that previo7s statement is totally your own).

1ST FACT OF THIS BLOG POST: People who smoke E-cigarettes also smoke other people's real cigarettes for free.

The RSI is in my right hand, total bummer, so I'm doing everything with my left. I simply have to take timer off when playing Solitaire.

I have been up to many things since blogging last (2012) and am planning to do more things; but if I tell you them now and never go through with them, then this segment will be filled with lies and that's not cool. So, for now I will stick to just writing about what I've done. I've been abroad to a few countries this year: Switzerland, the Netherlands, Orkney. This has been fun, here, have some visual highlights to share on your instagram and snapchats:



Niki and I in Switzerland



Hayden drinking my Heineken in Amsterdam

5* Dune Tour in Orkney

The trip to Orkney could also be called a Crusade of the Heavy Metal Buffet, or Conquest with friends Ten Tonne Dozer, Chrst Alive and Beef Cleaver. The Heavy Metal Buffet and the three bands headed south for a long weekend to put on gigs with local Orkney band, the cuties, called Hybrid Constellation. The reception we received in Orkney was amazing and inspiring, both as a band and as the Buffet, to continue promoting heavy metal both on the podcast and in gigs and cement a link with Orcadians and their metal bands to form a North Sea Network of Heavy Metal. Next up: Faroes - that would be awesome, just listen to Tyr.


Maddrim also collaborated with the HNC Music Course at Mareel from the University of the Highlands and Islands, along with the band Wind-Up Projectiles and a bit of the Heavy Metal Buffet. And we made this:

Ok, BBlogger is not letting me link in a youtube video

I hate you sometimes BBlogger

Here is the link instead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdm3S8tYY_k

And now I'm going to blog about The World's End for a considerable length of time for a considerable length of blog (as in, until my left hand gets pretty tired).

Gary King (Simon Pegg) photo courtesy of collider.com

So, I was very excited to see this film, although it took me a few weeks to get to the cinema to get to see it I managed to avoid all spoilers (save someone saying this cornetto gag was the best to date) and watched the trailer only twice. Although, I would say as a golden rule: never watch a trailer more than twice. The first time you watch a trailer, especially for a film you have been lusting for ever since you've seen pre production tweets coming from those involved in the writing process. Best example was accompanied by this photo:

photo courtesy of filmschoolrejects.com

So, yes, the pre production news builds the excitement and begins expectations, what really cements them is the trailer.

The first time you watch a trailer, more than digesting the contents within it to a great extent, I just get an overall feeling of what I'll expect from the film, second time you pay close attention to characters, potential developments, relationships and memorise the gags. You'll learn too much when  you watch it a third time.

BACK TO THE WORLD'S END

START SPOILERS AND THAT

Not going to lie. When I first watched the trailer I was sorely disappointed. Mainly because it looked like a mash up of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, a mash up in the sense they had forgotten about those to previous films they made, thought of two different great ideas:
-People desperately trying to get to a pub in a Armageddon style situation
-A small outside village/town where something sinister is going on.
Then, cause they'd forgotten, they'd already made them, they merged them into a film.

This was the first time I doubted their ingenious.

The film starts brilliantly, I try not to compare things (is what I say) but I do it all the time, it reminded me of the introduction to the second series of spaced. When he reintroduces the characters of the first series to Mr Scruff's Spandex Man and they all freeze in a way that makes you think your DVD is skipping apart from the fact Simon's (or Tim's) soothing voice is still LEADING YOU ON... into the first episode. So yes the start of The World's End was done fantastically, also to music used (magic roundabout) when Daisy Steiner is way to high to get interviewed.

(P.S from here on in this blog post it is now a later date, I'm typing with both hands. Lucky you.)

Actually, this review of mine is going to turn into a very long description so I'm going to bullet points a few of the key moments in the film for me.

•  The first fight with the blanks in the pub, holy shit the fighting is well choreographed in this film. It looks real, it's satisfying and it's still great fun to watch.
• The beaufitful moments of acting that shine through, like when Peter confides in the group at the pub about meeting his old bully, or when Gary tells Andy his Mam died.
• One key moment for me, that I did not like, was when Gary tells Sam to leave, drive for freedom, and she does, only returning at the end where she makes a passing comment about getting lost on the roads. I felt this was an example of the lacking for a strong female role within this film.
• Although not a key moment, the film perfectly captured the actions and ideas of a group of old friends who are caught in an outlandish situation, trying to survive, when at the same time, continiousluy drinking and becoming ever more inebriated. This was greatly portrayed by all the actors, particularly for me, by Nick Frost, who acts drunk better than any other I've seen. It also paved the way for their mistakes, giggles and emotion filled conversations when  you take into account their levels of intoxication. 
• Another, not quite moment, but many monets, was everytime we got to see one of their friends from another show...



END OF ALL THE SPOILERS

I have to move on. Because weeks have passed since I started writing this... and now it's BUFFET WEEK:

This weekend we will be hosting a two day rock festival in Shetland. I hope to see you there. BYE.

HMB visits SIBC

Back catologue of Buffet episodes:

https://soundcloud.com/#heavymetalbuffet/buffet-62-countdown-to-buffet
https://soundcloud.com/#heavymetalbuffet/buffet-61-mars-is-back-from
https://soundcloud.com/#heavymetalbuffet/buffet-60-oxjam
https://soundcloud.com/#heavymetalbuffet/buffet-59

Picture to word ratio is good in this post.

Heavy Metal Buffet episode 21


Usually I avoid making new years resolutions for myself. I really don't want to begin a new year with added tasks in hand, like to remember to brush my teeth twice a day - which always ends up in dissapointment. Three days. I once went three days with no teeth brushing in January, after making a resolution to brush my teeth twice daily. Manky #056.

But anyway, it's not a resolution, more of a "This should have happened by now and it's really going to require one sitting, a good idea and a jpeg image."

That's right I'm finally going to personalise the design of this blog.

I can't believe this blog will be about a year and a half old and I'm still using these books as a background. Look at them, not one of them even has a title, protentious books. No offence Blogger but it's pretty shit.

Also in the vein of improving the blog. I have been spell and grammer checking these days. I really have (to an extent). Although I still miss blatant mistakes, like when I leave myself blindingly obvious notes in caplocks to insert a picture or link in. Then just skip right over it in the last read through. Here's a screen shot example of one of these incidents from last time I blogged:

So, now you're all excited bout the video again let me actually post it here:

So that was Oxjam summed up in video format. From montages to interviews to a pretty long segment when I stood between the members of Ten Tonne Dozer trying to get a good picture of what the band are like during a gig: awesome.

You'll have notice Jamie's stoic performance (he's lead guitar) and has been described as:
"the eye of the hurricane as the rest of the band thrash around around him like a wild storm."

Ten Tonne Dozer are also often described as:
"The unstoppable force meets the unmovable object"
- Dave Kok going round Jamie's for some tea and a session and aussie football. JOKES. Jamie goes round Dave's for that.

Also talking of the Heavy Metal Buffet. The ever lovely Ivan Hawick took us out on a trip to a top secret location (Shetland) and we made another Heavy Metal Buffet picture introducing my to the team. Brally cold day it was.

So continuing on that topic, tonight is the night we decorate the house, watch Elf and have a take away; and hopefully Jamie and I will finish Heavy Metal Buffet episode 22. Without having to get as drunk as we did during 21. So it's time to go and get that ready cause I've already missed Elf on channel 4, I'm hoping four has one of those pluse one channels and I can catch it in 18 minutes. Before that I've got to clean the house and wake Ashlea and decorate, I bet your glad you got to read all of that.


Well, I will probably blog again between now and 2013. I really should considering last year I wrote 13 posts in four months. This year I'm sitting pretty (shitly) at nine and currently wondering how many t's I should have used back there in those brackets.


For now have a Merry Christmas however you celebrate it, or not, whatever the case: MERRY CHRISTMAS.

http://tfwiki.net

And on a last note: Leave Bugarach alone. There's not enough room for you in that village or the spacecraft.

BBC story: Mayor of Bugarach fears large influx for 'end of the world'

Mareel, Skyfall and a bit of Heavy Metal

Hello

Before I start writing about the main reason I've started writing the post today I just want to share some news. Exciting news.

I've written on here before about the Heavy Metal Buffet, but incase I gave no context as to what it is, or you've never read it, skimmed over it, forgotten it, didn't give a damn, let me shove it right into your face for another helping of some more smorgasbord (thanks wiki).

The Heavy Metal Buffet was established by my brother Dirk and friend Jamie, back, well roughly 21 weeks ago. It is a celebration of all things metal with an emphasis on local (Shetland) bands and musicians as well as advertising local gigs.

On October 20th, this year, Shetland had it's first ever Oxjam Takeover coordinated by Ashlea Tulloch. The day consisted of four gigs around town with dozens of artists, one wristbadn could get you into all four and all money raised goes straight to Oxfam. Dirk, Jamie and myself (as a newly joined member) presented a 7 hour metal gig in Da Wheel Bar. It was as follows:

(INSERT YOUTUBE OXJAM AT DA WHEEL BAR HERE)

That's not even the exciting news.

As the Heavy Metal Buffet we had the honour and privelage to interview none other than the Anthrax bassist Mr Frank Bello. Thank you so much to Frank for giving us the time during your Worship Music tour of Britain to chat to us over Skype, and thank you to Andy for getting us into contact.

Blabbermouth link to the Heavy Metal Buffet

To be honest I was really nervous about interviewing Frank, and none of us wanted to ask any questions he gets thrown at him all the time. So we tried our best to come up with some interesting questions (again thanks to Andy for giving us the heads up about the birthday lap dance for Rob. If you're interested to learn more of this dance listen to our interview with Frank on the Buffet linked below, and why not listen to the buffet before and after)

http://soundcloud.com/heavymetalbuffet/heavy-metal-buffet-episode-20

Frank Bello and myself at Doonlod 2012

Thank you Frank and thank you Andy and also thank you Anthrax for Worship Music.
2011 was an amazing year for Metal, some awesome albums. Thank you 2011.

Enough of that.

Recently Claire, myself, Jamie and Peter started up a band: Beef Cleaver. We played at Oxjam and a gig up in the Mid Brae Inn (this time with Dwayne on drums)
We just recorded our first original song, it's on't Buffet or you can have a listen here:

Black Island - Beef Cleaver

So to the title of this blog.

Was going to write this blog post on Sunday night as soon as I'd come out of Skyfall because I was on a just seen an awesome Bond film high. Then almost a week went past and I realised how time escapes me. #willalwaysbejealousofbernard

I love the Bond films, watched them since I can't remember, but Roger Moore is my favourite.

http://www.thedailytouch.com/

I was a bit nervous about Skyfall, I suppose if there's anything you've invested your time, money and part of your soul (but not a horcrux) into you want it to be good.

It was awesome.

SPOILERS:

I suppose for me I feel the film had two main points to get across:
1) The world of espionage is not over, infact it is more important than ever.

2) Bond, this Bond, is growing from the character in the books into the suave Bond we know from earlier films. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing that Daniel Craig took Bond's character to the darker addict Flemming wrote him as, I think it was an interesting take and took Bond closer to reality after that invisible car. What I like is that through Casino Royale, Quantam of Solace and now Skyfall Bond has been broken down emotionally and physically (several times) and lost the person closest to him (I suppose twice) and was forced to evolve into, what I believe is a Bond akin to Connery's and he will be fully emerged as this incarnation in the fourth Craig film (there better be a fourth).

Highlights for me included the nods to previous films; Q's quip about "exploding pens" (Goldeneye, Boris was vincible after all) and the return of the beloved Aston Martin with the features of that from Goldfinger.

Also Moneypenny. What a way to reintroduce her, I don't know about you but I figured it was her as soon as we met her in the new headquarters. However I don't think that matters at all, I just liked that Moneypenny has proven herself as a knowledable member of the team who has worked in the field.

Also, it wasn't just the film that made me enjoy my trip to see Bond so much, niether the advert beforehand featuring every Bond ever in a car chase, or the face that Ashlea, Jamie and myself all went to the cinema in our pyjamas with a massive blankie. It was just being in Mareel itself.

I love Mareel. It's welcoming and comfortable. It's like going to a friends house, a really clean house, but not in that way it makes you feel guilty about the state of your own home. I always look forward to going there, the cinema is so comfy and the cafe is amazing, I could stay there all day everyday, anyone could.

Just ask Rodrigo.

Kom binnen

'Kom binnen' that means 'welcome' in Dutch, or 'come inside' I forget which, maybe even both, I'd really like to learn the Dutch for 'come outside'

Photo courtesy of BBC. http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/come-outside

 

Why this amazingly bilingual introduction?

I'll tell you. I've been trying to learn Dutch. My Mam is Dutch, hence the 'Marjolein' name, and I've never been fluent in Dutch. Not remotely - stereotypical Brit. So I'm trying to learn some now, this late in life.. it's not going too badly, thanks to this beauty of a website:

http://www.memrise.com/home/

I've even learnt how to read "There is no fish" in Japanese.
Procrastination.

So far I've just been learning singular words, which is fine, especially with their helpful mnemonics to remember words, these are submitted by other users of the site. A community they call it. I used to ignore these tips till I found they really helped. One of my favourite examples being for the Dutch word for dissapointment 'teleurstellen' the tip being: If you tell your Stella (Artois Beer) a joke, you will be dissapointed by the bottle's reaction) since then I have never forgotten teleurstellen. Magic.

Also I greatly enjoy these mnemonics, as they are contributed by the users, pretty much annonymous beings of the site, it allows for hilarious results. The more hilarious the tip, the easier it is to then memorise the word, taking it up a notch, this also applies to innuendoes, the more double meaning the mnemonic has, the quicker I learn the translation. I've come to notice that almost all  all the tips written by the ever helpful 'edcooke'

 

 















I don't even know who Marquis de Zaad is, I don't know if I want to know, but I always remember now that seed in Dutch is 'het zaad'. Although I have no idea whether these are double entendres in Dutch as well. Drawer.


Asides from learning, I've also been filming, this week for Heavy Metal Buffet. Since I've been taken on as 'video director' I haven't produced anything... until now. Last Wednesday, Emma-Louise let us in her cupcake shop to film and eat cup cakes. Great fun was had by all.

As Emma-Louise described it: "Something a little bit different that happened in the coffee shop!"

Thank you Emma-Louise for your patience, kindness and cupcakes. If you haven't been yet then go! The cupcakes are so good, Orkney Fudge is perhaps my favourite. If you're on Facebook search 'Emma-Louise Cupcakes' and give their page a like, you'll get updates on what is literally cooking.

Here's Heavy Metal Buffet's first scripted film:

 Url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqV2mkOmFZ4





If you want some more Buffet goodness, (the podcast kind) click on the following link to listen to the latest episode, it incldes an unreleased version of Ten Tonne Dozer's 'Roo Shooter' check it oot:
http://soundcloud.com/heavymetalbuffet/heavy-metal-buffet-episode-14

 Also, as I've missed a couple of HMB episodes since I last blogged here, so have a gander at 13 as well. (Because I don't think I even feature in 14):

http://soundcloud.com/heavymetalbuffet/heavy-metal-buffet-episode-13


Right, I've got to love you and leave you lovers,

Got an Oxjam meeting, make sure you get your tickets for the 20th! We're playing with Beef Cleaver in the Wheel Bar, at Heavy Metal Buffet presents Oxjam at the Wheel.

And for my last link, if you want to hear our new band Beef Cleaver click the link, this is our cover of System Of A Down's ATWA.

http://soundcloud.com/ronalddrivesatractor/beef-cleaver-atwa

Cheerio. x



LATER NOTE:

Marquis de SADE - got you know.

50 Shades isn't as rude as initially thought.. take out all the times he "cocked his head to one side" and there's generally 78% less cock.

That's right, I've been reading 50 Shades of Gray. There goes all my intelligence.

It's wild. If I had found that book in a shop and just bought it on a whim, I wouldn't admit in public, to a friend, or on the blog, that I was reading it. However, with the insane popularity this book has amassed it is perfectly acceptable to announce to your fellow co workers in the office that you are reading this filthy, filthy book. And do you know why it's so filthy? The absolutely horrendous writing. WHY SO MANY ELLIPSES? WHY?

If I read any of the following:
"holy cow"
"holy shit"
"holy moses"
"he cocked his head"
"pushed me over the edge"
"inner goddess"
any more, I will just take it, because I can't expect any better, and that's what Ana would do, she just can't stop herself taking it.

Alsooo is it just me or is this book embarrassingly anti-feminist? Just me? I don't know, have some back bone Ana and keep off of Grey's one for a second. She manages to withhold once (that I've read so far) and she goes home and cries about it. Woman up Miss Steele. And if you're going to cry about not getting any, take it, and take it in your stride.

Stride of pride.


And now I have to apologise, for being a hypocrite. I rarely spell check this blog, look over the grammar or even do a simple sense check. I used to say it was part of the blog's charm. I write a post in one sitting then post it, coherent thoughts and all that. However since reading 50 Shades. (I found a spelling mistake in it last night) I've realised how annoying it is when someone is sloppy with their writing, I'll try to do better.

I don't want to read the trilogy, I really don't, I can't wait to finish this first book and get back into Tolkien again, yeah LOTR!

Frodo and Bilbo. Love you Bagginses.

But, on another note, good on you woman for making a ridiculous fortune from this book. Donate at least a proportionate chunk of it to a literacy foundation. Again, though I shouldn't ridicule, I started this blog partly to keep me writing since graduating University, and without any Professor to mark it, or an English version of Word to spell check, it's turned into a overly colloquial flood of words inter-spliced with 'awesome' at least once a blog. But there you go.

Recently I have been: winning a fishing competition at the Skeld Regatta, recording more radio show and some Heavy Metal Buffet Podcast, filming for Maddrim, reading 50 Shades, editing for Maddrim, went to the Voe Show, swimming in the sea a few times and perfecting my Trujillo impersonation.

This photo is property of my sister. Her name is Floortje Robertson.

However this blog was a backwards one, as I'm ending it with my 'what I've been up to' oh no wait. Not entirely backwards. Here comes the goodbye:

Evol fo stol
Neilojram xxxx


P.S You listened to the new podcast yet? 88 minutes in. Yeah, yeah, that's me interviewing BLACK SABBATH. Reggahs ananab.

http://soundcloud.com/heavymetalbuffet/heavy-metal-buffet-episode-4

Last time I went to the Voe Show, we were dressed like this.

I was just doing a Robert Trujillo impersonation, then Mam walked in and offered me cough medicine.

Hiyi
How’re you?
That’s fantastic.
I’ve been pretty well too.

Recently I have been: to see Judas Priest on their last date of the Epitaph tour, to Download Music Festival, starting up a weekly radio show, made a film that is currently touring Britain, working as a camera assistant for a new drama, won a daft raft race and my cat died.

Today's blog has been written whilst listening to: http://soundcloud.com/heavymetalbuffet/heavy-metal-buffet-episode-2

Listen and read, we may just share the same experience.
Heavy Metal Buffet is made by my brother Dirk and friend Jamie.

On the subject of online radio, on Friday evenings, from 6pm till 9pm you can tune into Joe, then myself and finally Dirk and Jamie (but NOT related to Heavy Metal Buffet show) for some suitable, family friendly and tuneful radio.

http://www.shetland.org/puffincam/index.php?file=stream2

(Click the link at five to six on Friday)

We're waiting for you.

Right, Jamie and Dirk are way too distracting to listen to while writing so I've put on a bit of Master of Puppets by METALLICA. Holy shit they were awesome at Doonlod, we got up on the Vodaphone veiwing platform, which, although we were a bit away, offered us an amazing view of the entire stage, the snake pit and the crowd. Man it was impressive to see the crowd watching METLICA. The next day when Sabbath came on to finish the festival I swear the crowd was even bigger, the entire festival seemed to turn up to watch Sabbath, and it was awesome. They played songs from the first eight albums. I was wondering if they'd play any DIO but they stuck to all the early Ozzy, which, although there were some DIO songs I would have loved to hear live it was fitting. And it was amazing to see Iommi play, his hands created the sound of metal we love so much today and even in his illness he came on and gave the most awesome performance. I'll always hold the memories of seeing Sabbath, although deeply under the influence of freaking Anthrax's whisky at the time, as one of the highlights of my life. Yeah that's right I got Anthrax's whisky, met them and Megadeth and the lovely Kobra Paige backstage, best weekend ever.


Moving on.


Not sure if you've heard about the Hansel of Film, I'm going to explain it now without double checking it's actual description on t'site. It's a relay of homemade films from the length and breadth of Britain touring around the isles in honour of the olympics. At each location films are shown from that location, from the previous location and then there are out Shetland films in the mix. 'Hansel' is Shetland for gift. SO ENJOY.

Actually, the Culture Show is doing a whole piece on Hansel of Film on Wednesday, check this oot:

http://hansel2012.org/blog/hansel-film-be-featured-bbc%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%98culture-show%E2%80%99

 Maddrim made a few of the films there, even though I wasn't involved in Maddrim when some of those earlier entries were made, yeah, you're still welcome. Dirk and I really wanted to make a film, we came up with an idea, wrote a rough script down and set to make it on a Sunday (I forget which) pretty close to the deadline when we had all the equipment. But it pissed it down on the day and it was imperitive that we film the film outside and we didn't wanna get rained on. The filming was pretty much cancelled, then, at 15.30 Dirk was all like:

"Let's make a film about kids who like Star Wars, yeah, they could like it so much it's become their whole world, they've even created almost their own Star Wars universe for themselves"

We had two scripted scenes and the rest was all adlibbed. I paste the link here now for you to enjoy.

It's called Punch It Chewie, and none of us are sure if that line is actually said in the film, and neither is Han called 'Hans', but there you go.

What a nice guest appearance from our now dead cat.


Anyway, I've been thinking alot about Trujillo lately, I've not got him out of my head since I first watched 'Some Kind Of Monster', pretty much one of the best films of all time, so he's been in my head for a while, he's a cutie. He's also very good at doing the crab while he plays his bass. There's, I believe, a reason for this, and I'm not sure it while transpire in the same joke form that it has developed over time for myself and others who have created the joke. I'm just going to tell you, Trujillo man is a creature from the sea. That is not a put down, not in the slightest, alot of awesome creatures come from the sea, my Ipod for one. (SEE ALL THE REFERENCES FROM ALL THOSE PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS EVER) It is however, a justified reasoning. What you don't see when they're auditioning bass players for Metlica, is in an earlier scene when we join Kirk on a surfboard, he discovers Trujillo nipping at his toes beneath the briny waves. Hammet the kind hearted 'hey-guys-instead-of-thrashing-it-out-on-each-other-how-about-going-into-the-studio-and-thrashing-it-out-on-our-instruments' lead guitarist for Metlica brougth Trujillo back to the studio, albeit, as a new logo for St. Anger. We all remember how Hammet commented "Needs more spiders" when looking at the album artwork. By bringing this multi limbed crustacean into the studio, he was filling a certain, ju-nay-say-quah, (Read it and take it), it was only after Trujillo's freak out in his new, arid enviornment, which created more destruction then when Hetfield slammed the studio door, twice, they gave him one of Newstead's old basses to nip at. AND THUS. THE NEW BASSIST FOR METALLICA WAS FOUND.


And Bob Rock did cry.

Then they hired Rick Rubin as the producer for Death Magnetic.

Then Dave Grohl personally wrote into Metal Hammer praising Death Magnetic.

And The Unforgiven III made it.

And Bob Rock did cry again.

It's all cool, he's totes happy now the band is touring with the Black Album again. Back in his original glory.


Where was I?



Yeah Trujillo is a lobster or crab, I think everyone says crab but I say lobster, because I love Trujillo and I love lobsters.

Peace out . x

 

 

Read more: (because it's good for your enzymes) http://marjoleinrobertson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/kom-binnen.html

 

http://marjoleinrobertson.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/picture-to-word-ratio-is-good-in-this.html