The Eye I am sat here in The Eye. I'm going to call it Amsterdam's Mareel.
It's fantastic, a museum to film, with tours, virtual workshops, classes, not to mention a couple of screens and a cafe boasting a magnificent view over the water towards Amsterdam Central Station. I watch the ferries to Amsterdam head back and forth. So it's like if Mareel was on Bressay. Exactly that. I haven't written a blog post on here in a while. Long gone are the promises of weekly updates from what I've been doing, where I've been applying to and finally where I'm working. Although as I've always said, I'd rather not talk explicitly about my work on here. Never wise to mix employment and personal life on the internet. Facebook is still asking me who my employer is. Last time I wrote here the post was entitled "Home Sweet Homeless" on the eve of us all moving. That's all sorted out now. It's nice, we watch Firefly in the evenings. Well we did, till it finished. One series Fox gave Whedon, madness. More on that, here:
That's my new review blog by the way, called Room With A Review (thanks Hayden - he named it) so I suppose I have still been blogging, but just more in the way of reviewing films, tv shows and gigs. By the way, if anyone has a suggestion for a new series for us to watch please say, we are thinking Eutopia, but it's very dark, so something lightsome to make us smile again afterwards would be great.
The Red Light District I didn't really know what to expect when moving to Amsterdam. I thought living here would be an educational experience, except I suppose what I have had is a change in my previous thoughts on the city. Things that I thought were a good thing I now can't believe I was tolerating the idea before. This is mainly and I suppose solely in terms of the Red Light District.
I realise now how naive I was, thinking that legalization would make for safer trade for the girls who chose to be involved. Yes brothels have guards and pimps, but so many of the girls who work in Amsterdam are predominantly foreign, 80%, and 70% have no immigration papers, suggesting human trafficking (figures from French Newspaper, Le Monde Diplomatique). When I first came here I looked everywhere for jobs. If you look on online for work, often in the entertainment section of many websites, there are countless jobs for 'dancers'. So many girls are promised dancing careers, once they get here they are told they just need to work in a window for a few months then they can move onto a dancing career, whether this happens I don't know. To be honest I think it's irrelevant as they have already been made to prostitute themselves before they can dance. These girls are made to prostitute. In order to get to Amsterdam in the first place they have had help acquiring passports, paying for travel and accommodation. They arrive in the city with debts to pay and they pay them by working in the windows. Once they begin working in the windows they also need to pay those middle men, the pimps, bouncers and such. Often they have family at home who they have promised money to, not realising how long it would be before they could earn for themselves, so they need to work for a long time in order to fulfill their promises.
Please watch this video, it is an eyeopener:
Even before I had read the above information about the Red Light District I couldn't stand the area. As I have said earlier in this blog, before coming here I had thought the idea behind the Area was a good thing. Then I walked through the District. It is too easy to look, point, talk about the women in these windows, worryingly so. This is not just legalizing prositution, this is the most blatant exploitation of women I have ever seen. They are literally turning them into a commodity you can buy for the price you decide in barter. They stand in windows like some sort of goods that people point at. There are the different women who come out at different times saving the 'prettier' girls for later. There are people who write guides about how to get the best girl at the best time for the best price. They are literally seen as a commodity. The only men I have ever seen in windows in the Red Light District have been cross dressers. Even the men are dressed up as women. How is Amsterdam this so called city of tolerance when it displays some of the most backwards treatment of women I have seen? It is frustrating. I could write so much more about this but I'm going to stop, the main points for me to cover here were the worrying numbers escorted here through trafficking; that buying legal sex is indeed believed to encourage trafficking; and the sheer lack of respect for women.
I wasn't too sure how to write this blog post. Every time I start a new draft of the following news then I make light of it straight away, obvious defence mechanism, but I think I may be too emotionally 'invested' in this situation to talk about it in a wholly whimsical manner.
To sum it up in, almost, one. I am back to the same state of affairs as Jess from the beginning of season 2 of New Girl.
And now without a house.
I can't work out whether I'm being too light or too downtrodden about the whole thing, so maybe I am borderline both about it.
Basically, whilst visiting family for the weekend we were notified we had to leave our current flat. Luckily, as of the 1st of November we have a house ready to rent and we have a friend we are living with now, so really the situation is far from terrible. To be honest, staying with our friend is really nice, and our other friend, who is moving with us too, is also homeless as of today so it's like having a big fun sleepover, with the boys. Not in that way.
Then the job front. An unfair dismissal you may call it, but as things are still ongoing there I don't want to delve into it, but when you are no longer given shifts as you won't work for less than minimum wage, I would call that unfair dismissal.
To say what probably everyone before me has said ever: No one tells you how hard it's going to be when you move to a new country.
Actually what I should say is: I don't think i listened when everyone told me how hard it was going to be.
Don't think that I expected it to be a breeze, to be settled straightaway, have a job the first day, find a group of friends and set up the Dutch Maddrim 'Daddrim' (needs new name). I'm sure there has been worse situations for others, I'm blessed with our friends who look after us, being here with Hayden and having the internet for never ending distractions, entertainment, online Dutch lessons, information about jobs and Bejewelled Blitz.
What I am going to do when I feel my life is in a more organised, coherent and housed is write a guide for expats, a guide to knowing your rights and making sure you are ready to work and live and demand rights. Don't ever be afraid to ask for what you are legally obliged. Or I suppose what you want in general. As Mam Robertson says:
"If you don't ask you'll never get."
Thanks Charlotte.
I think now a lot about those people who find thousands of misplaced pounds gifted to their bank accounts because of some technical error by some multimillionaire company. A friend told me about that last night. That is my new dream in life, to be the person, not the company.
Thank you blog, writing this post is making me feel better, I forgot how therapeutic this is.
So let's go to the lighter new of fun things that have been going on in the Netherlands and television and past television I've only just started watching (obviously Firefly). Our friend Rodrigo is coming to stay tomorrow (from when we have a house, good timing). To that will be good having a friend with us, also he just told me he's bringing his super nice camera, I have already written to short film scripts. They will be coming your way soon.
I almost forgot: HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
(This blog post was started yesterday)
Here is a picture I have been working on that sums up all the various parts of Halloween:
That is a bag of bones I excavated. Animal bones.
So in news about tv and film: I have finished series one of Orange Is The New Black, if you haven't seen it, watch it, it's a Netflix series, but I'm sure you can just view it anywhere online, the wonders of internet. Then I have been trying to catch up with True Blood, I'm still on series four, and, like with every series, I forget how weird and disturbing it can get. There's always a point in True Blood when I wonder if I can watch the whole series, and, only half way through, I have hit that point three times.
Now an even older series I have finally started watching: Firefly
Oh Josh Whedon, you are so great.
I tried to explain Firefly to Hayden, but, I've never been very good at explaining things, like when I wanted to show Dirk 'Children of Men' and said "It's about a women who can't have babies". Which is stupid, and in fact, kind of the exact opposite of what that film is really about. So, Firefly, when I was explaining it to Hayden I told him it is about 'Space Cowboys'. Contest if you like, and Hayden laughed for about 10 minutes, but I really think that is a good description.
Anyone who likes their sci-fi series, flying through space, discovering strange new planets with a massive dollop of western essence, then watch this. Also, as it is a Whedon series you can expect all the main characters to be well rounded and likeable. I think his strong characters are one of his best traits, especially the nice strong female roles.
I've only watched the first four episodes, so I don't have too much to offer, let me try:
Episode 1: the pilot is great and packed full of information and action, extra long, almost feels like a film but never feels like it has been drawn out unecassarily Episode 2: I forgot
Episode 3: The third episode is really scary (good for tonight).
Episode 4: Not my favourite for storyline, but perhaps my favourite so far for humour.
Generally the story telling is one of the strongest parts, there is a lot of history to each of the characters and it the world they live in, this is revealed gradually through each episode with clever storytelling and dialogue.
Reapers.
Yes, go watch Firefly and lament too that there will only ever be one series of the show. Stupid Fox. I hope you enjoy it, I do, I especially appreciate all the shots of the ships flying through space WITH NO SOUND EFFECTS. Because in space there is no sound. Josh Whedon, just look at the man and you can see all his brains. Literally.
Anyway, speaking of space. We're about to go and watch Gravity in an Imax. Excitement levels are high. Then we're going to come home and watch Practical Magic, it is Halloween after all and the stars kindly made an appearance in this post. After describing the film the boys are expecting it to be a scary and spooky film about witchcraft. I'm going to end up watching this film alone...
Metallica: Through The Never; A Review With Carefully Annotated Spoilers So You Can Read It Even If You Haven't Watched The Film.
The title was so catchy I shortened it to the first word (without the colon) for the post title.
But yes, I'm going to review the film with carefully highlighted spoilers so that those who haven't seen it can read this. I hate spoilers more than anything, the last thing I'd want to do is hurt someone in the same way.
Before I even go into Through The Never let's think back to earlier Metallica films. And by films I'm not even going to go into the making of the Black Album (because I haven't seen it) I'm just going to write about Some Kind Of Monster, if you haven't seen it, do.
Side Note: I am sat here in the Conservatorium Van Amsterdam, enjoying the fairly priced tea whilst writing this blog post and I kid you not; there is a man at the table next to me with a white billowing shirt on, half unbuttoned, playing the lute to a gaggle of females. I know there's a classical department here but this is a whole new level. I'd take a picture to share with you all but I've not got a decent camera, if you want one, please send me a DSLR. Maybe the Canon EOS 50d. Then you'll have your photo, plus or minus a video.
Oh and on another side note. Before I get too far into this review (when it begins) I made a video of Hayden and I's time so far in Amsterdam. The video is titled 'Amsterdam'.
Coming soon: Dirk's reaction video.
Right here:
Also, I have put in my first contribution to the Heavy Metal Buffet from Amsterdam on the latest episode. Have a listen, the episode is hilarious as well. And of course some great metal:
Now to METALLICA: THROUGH THE NEVER
I was so excited to see this film. I was giddy, there were butterflies in my stomach (partially due to me eating oysters accidentally, so allergic reactions too were flurrying).
The trailer was fantastic and if you haven't seen it, or heard about the film, at least watch this before reading the rest of this post:
So yes the basic backbone of the film is constructed of two columns. Column one: The most awesome Metallica concert you could ever imagine, amazing stage, props and set list. Column two: a young roadie is sent out to pick up a package for the band and on his journey, to retrieve said package (that he's not allowed to look inside of), he finds the world outside the venue is now in an apocalyptic state. The two columns intertwine and often mirror each other with amazing visual results.
The first column: The Metallica Concert
Holy shit it is awesome.
I dream of going to a Metallica gig like that in the future. They actually did a run of eight real gigs, all sold out; and out of those they took the live performance footage and made it into Through The Never. (I'd like to mention now that within the story line the concert is described as a one off show). I just hope they will go on tour with that show now, I would pay a lot to see it. A lot more than $12,000,000 for this painting:
(If I actually had the money.. and then more to spare after paying all that for a ticket to one concert.)
That, by the way, is a painting from Lars' art collection, not the one from Some Kind Of Monster, a latter one, as he says, he is always buying and selling art "Because, um, you can't, um, own art."
Don't take Lars' or my words on it. Check out this blog, if you want to see dedication click the link to this blog that writes solely on Lars' art collection, I haven't worked out yet whether it's serious:
Oh man, the audience that got to go to the live show for the recording of this film are some of the luckiest people. The stage itself and the props were mind blowing. When watching it you forgot you were watching a movie, with an added story line, as you were so easily immersed in the concert. Also as the concert was performed specifically to be filmed you got to see the greatest close ups in amazing focus, never mind the fact that the whole movie was made specifically for Imax's so the visuals and 3D was stunning.
At one point I thought one of the audience members in the cinema was throwing the horns. Didn't even realise at first it was within the film.
-Although I wouldn't have been too surprised if it was an audience member, the crowd was generally, peacefully headbanging to themselves throughout.
The stage show though was amazing, and their performances were fantastic. Also, after watching that I'll be so excited to see them live again, I hope I can, as I will have a better understanding of what it's like close up from seeing the film. They had some good cameramen. I've read arguments elsewhere online that the camera work was shoddy and often not focused on anything in particular, I'd have to disagree. They captured the atmosphere perfectly, which is more than just getting the nice focus shots and filming every second of the solo from multiple angles. It's about getting those wider shots, the ones that have little going in, the areas your eyes move to when your watching a live show, greedily trying to absorb the whole stage and venue in. Also everyone in the band looked to be properly enjoying themselves, which I'm not surprised anyway, the venue was full and the fans sing along throughout. And then a few more singing along in the cinema.
Also, I've trawled through so many comments on "blackheads" "saliva" and more. Why do people criticise that like it's a bad thing. It's not metal when it tries to airbrush it and make it pretty. Musicians spit on stage. They filmed real concerts with real performances. You should embrace all the aspects of that. Not complain when the realness of it offends you.
To the second column: The story of the Roadie.
Dane Dehaan plays Trip, one of the roadies for the band who is sent out on an errand during the show. Which is a shame because he is obviously one of Metallica's greatest fans. Dehaan is a great actor, I'd already seen him before in A Place Beyond The Pines and, one of the greatest found footage films to date Chronicle (go see it).
By the way the spoilers are highlighted so just scroll down to the plain old black on white and you'll be fine.
BEGINNING OF SPOILERS:
Ok, so the film's premise is two story lines, and I can talk about the stage show in general quite a lot without revealing spoilers, however I think Trip's journey, is one that those who haven't seen the film yet, should know little about.
He takes a pill, drives the van past a red light, subsequently is crashed into, then carries on his errand by foot, and soon walks into a confrontation between rioters and police. This is only the beginning of the nightmare, before things start to become even more inexplicable and by that I mean the horseman... and I suppose the puppet from the truck.
So the horseman is awesome, he is cool and mean and a total ass. Who's side is he on? Who's side is anyone on in this world? It's the apocalypse and it teaches us that during a Metallica concert anything, anything, could be going on outside but as long as they don't teeter into Lulu everything. is. fine. I suppose, rather than dissect in any great detail the story that unfolds for the roadie, I ended up wondering about what is real and what is not? Before he even leaves the venue he pops a pill. Call me ignorant but I didn't know what that was, and I suppose the film makers (hiyi Metallica) don't want you to know either, the same way I suppose they don't want you to know what's in that bag. Which is an over used cliche. Tarantino nailed it Pulp Fiction, why pick this up again? Especially when Trip finally does get the bag and looks into it he looks completely horrified by it's contents. Which makes Metallica seem almost seedy. Then I think - is this the band's greatest joke in the film? They want to have that metal edge, they could be capable of all evil and it could be in that bag, but you will never know. I don't know Metallica. Answer me please. But yeah, the roadie, the possible trip, the possible concussion, the possibility that everything that happened is in fact real. Whatever it was it all ended when he got Mjölnir'shammer and went Thor-style bad ass all over that evil rider. Thanks Trip and thanks voodoo puppet that I got overly emotionally attached to during the film. I have a feeling perhaps we're not meant to fully understand Trip's story line.
END OF SPOILERS.
Look at Lars' approval.
So this was my review on Metallica: Through The Never and my summary is:
Go watch Metallica: Through The Never, even if you aren't a Metallica fan. It is, in essence, a Metallica concert with glimpses of another story line mirroring the songs. However, if you are not a fan, do not let that put you off. Metallica have done something no band has done to date; they have made an amazing piece of cinema of the most awesome gig. They have successfully captured themselves in a stunning film that will remain for all time. I thoroughly enjoyed this film and will buy it as soon as it's on DVD to watch again. Even without the whole Imax experience (which they nailed). I am pleased that Metallica found a new way in which to reach people with music and have the balls to have tried something completely different. Although I would have enjoyed more music from Death Magnetic, one song was not enough.
Plus the best part of the entire film is when Trip comes into contact with each band member at the very start. Metallica. Gold. (Ecstasy of).
To sum it up in an even shorter fashion, Hayden Hook, ladies and gentlemen:
"What I liked about it was that no matter how many concerts you watch you'll never see one in such detail... It was like a cinematic concert"
He says more:
"Metallica are definitely the first band to actually film a full concert in such a cinematic way. The film is the concert and a story. You're never going to get that view point of the band on stage from just a tour DVD."
Thank you Hayden. And thank you for reading this blog post. I hope you go out and see Metallica: Through The Never, and if you have already, feel free to discuss further any ideas from this blog.
And finally an image proving James Hetfield is indeed the Master:
Speed blogging here as I sit in a cafe with laptop battery draining dangerously fast at an already frighteningly low level.
ACERS.
Yeah I had it plugged in earlier but this man has asked to use the plug and I said it was fine because my laptop was almost full. That was hours ago. His must be charged by now, but then, I paid for my drinks a long time ago, so in all senses it's time to move on. And then, just before packing up, I immediately chose to write a blog post. hashtagwhatamilike?
My life the past week and a half has been work. I got a part time job, so I'm working full time and by that I mean all the time. 4 days in on the job and every other waitress is away for various reasons. It was full on. Tiring. Double shifts. Eczema city on my hands. However some of the girls are back now and I'm back to part time. Living the dream. This was the dream, first couple of months in The Netherlands I wanted to get a job where I have time to explore and learn more about the city, then learn some actual Dutch. Goededag!
You can get a job in a cafe/restaurant/fast food chain I think quite easily, in the city centre especially when speaking only English. However they really want to encourage a greater use of Dutch, so to climb any career ladder a knowledge of the language is a necessity. Which is a good thing, it's driving my learning. my reading of this bad boy:
He gets to go everywhere with me. Everywhere.
The other day while walking to work (my chain had fallen off my bike) I decided to walk and read. Read Hugo's Dutch in three months book. Being so used to my normal cycle to work it was only after being tooted at by mopeds I realised I was walking on the cycle path while reading. hashtagwhatanuttern00b
I wish I had more exciting stories for you all. But I have been working so much I literally have been dreaming about stacking saucers. To give you an idea I had work shifts that go like this:
Saturday: 11 hours
Sunday: 6 hours
Monday: 9 and a half hours
Tuesday: 9 and a half hours
Wednesday: 8 hours
Thursday: 9 hours
So I've been doing a lot of working, then sleeping. Although Hayden and I started watching Orange Is The New Black. I had forgotten how good it is to get a brand new, juicy series to get your teeth into. Also we're savouring the programme, watching one episode every few days. That feels like a practice of the past, archaic viewing with such strong self (the opposite of the following word) indulgence.
I think I need to get my brain back into writing again. And by writing I mean general thinking. It is funny how being tired knocks you to silly.
Battery too low. Have to find another cafe to plug into power source.
I am now blogging to you from my second home in Amsterdam... I give to you:
Beautiful... heel mooi
Yes, thanks to Hayden I found a metal pub in Amsterdam. Pretty sure at the moment this is the only metal pub in Amsterdam, and I hope to be proved wrong on that. Not because there's anything lacking here. Just because I really like the idea of a thriving metal community. To be honest, on the surface I haven't encountered that much metal. But time and enthusiasm will tell. Metallica's Through The Never is premiering here tomorrow. When I find out my shifts I'll hopefully be able to book to go to a viewing. I'm really hoping Lars and Kirk are going to come to Amsterdam as part of their Europe tour but I've found no information so far.
More on Excalibur. It is awesome. I was just busy cycling to a different cafe to find a plug and a cup of tea when I heard Megadeth's 'Symphony of Destruction' so I locked up my bike and headed straight in. Right now we have ACDCs 'T.N.T' playing. It's the happiest drinking hole in the city.
Look at the decor:
Yes that is a dragon. Yes you can buy a tshirt.
It's also just so refreshing to sit somewhere and have a constant stream of good metal in your ears.
I should have said, in actuality, when cycling from the first cafe I was looking for ABN Amro bank to set up a bank account. The Netherlands is very strict. We all have this super relaxed image of the country, yeah a lot of that is true, lots of people are laid back, friendly, lenient laws on various past times.
But when it comes to being a Dutch citizen, you have to register, have to (by law) get your own health care insurance, can only set up a bank account with your citizen number and work contract. Perhaps this is mandatory everywhere and it's just the first time I've encountered it, but yeah, it feels like the hoops of bureaucracy are before me and I must jump. Or, like in Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone for PlayStation one, fly through.
For once, I decided to give an image for my reference.
Not because it's necessary, but because I like the way
the health is shown in his lighting bolt scar.
SPOILERS: Basically Voldy's health.
Didn't think that one through did you PlayStation?
Almost a year ago, I was sitting at Cara's editing one of Maddrim's many Halloween films (they will be released... one day) and she put RENT on. I didn't really want to watch it I had heard it was sad and I wasn't interested in such a film. Also, side note, at the time, I had no idea Team America's 'Lease' was a parody; boy was that an eye opener on the background of that joke. I just thought they had gone to town with jokes on aids. To be brutally honest, I only realised last month, that that was a parody on Rent.
For anyone who doesn't know Rent "is a rock musical with music and lyrics by Jonathan Larson[1] based on Giacomo Puccini's operaLa bohème." Thanks Wikipedia. However, as Cara and Joe watched the film and I started to procrastinate from editing I was drawn into the operatic rock beats of their 90s New York. I began my infatuation with Rent. The more I watch it/listen to the songs on Aly's spotify the more I love it. It's really great, the whole bohemian life, although inflicted with disease/poverty/inability to write one glorious song. I said to Cara we should move to New York and live a similar lifestyle (without all the bad bits, I hope). Now Hayden and I are in Amsterdam, a city of laid back lifestyles and plenty of jazz, and I am craving...
WAIT. QUICK NOTE:
Megadeth's 'Symphony Of Destruction' is on again. I think this must be their Wednesday afternoon playlist on repeat. Can't wait for some more Turbonegro's 'All My Friends Are Dead' again. Back to Rent:
Craving some structure, is structure the right word? Maybe I need more time off work to think. But yes, I can't wait to have a Dutch bank account, I can't wait to have health insurance. Coming here I've realised I'm the type of person who likes to have work, accounts, to be settled. I'd be a terrible bohemian. I suppose there's always Joanne, she's a lawyer.
I think this is a conclusion now, this blog has been everywhere, if this blog post were a buzzfeed post there would be no classification, well, perhaps WTF.
To give you a conclusion: I am happy to be registered and on my way to settling in officially and now, with less shifts and that means I can party more. I got both worlds. Thanks Hannah Montana, all my wishes Miley Cyrus. You'll get back to the best in no time.
So I was going to write a review of Kick-Ass 2. I was going to write this weeks ago, still weeks after it had been out in cinemas. However what with the move and my procrastination and that I never got round to it till now.
Now I find myself struggling to remember all the finer points. I guess this is why reviews are written so quickly. Well, there are many points I discussed with Cara after seeing the film that stick out like sore thumbs for me, sore because they are a blot of ink on the Kick-Ass franchise.
I say franchise, however I haven't read the comics. Something I hadn't really thought of doing, then I heard about some of the discrepancies between the comic and the latest film, now I really don't want to read the comic. More on that, later.
To be honest, really honest, because the way I'm about to write about the film for the rest of this post, I kind of don't want to admit this; when I first saw the film and the end credits started I felt like I'd finally seen a super movie sequel that got it right.
This is because there are so many super hero sequels that go through the exact same motions:
Superhero is superhero
Superhero has self doubt
Superhero loses/removes identity
Superhero's now normal life is threatened/has been hurt by enemy
Superhero regains identity and brings it
When thinking of Hit Girl, yes, she finds some of the parts of being a teenager and having a social life she had never indulged in before, alright Union J, you can leave the screen now and go back to being background sound. Then she embraces this American High School dream, is date-ditched, then in her own time comes back to being Hit Girl. Wait, that is the formula.
Also, I wanted her to get back at the Queen B and her cronies with something more intelligent than making themselves void their bodies of pretty much everything. I know it just demonstrates the way Hit Girl does not give a shit. But Hit Girl knows how to be discreet. What the hell was that? It just made me feel sick.
Let's look at Kick-Ass himself now, yeah, he just got dumped by Katie and doesn't even seem to care. What is this? Their relationship was so carefully worked on in the first film, well I thought so anyway. The sequel was just making me nostalgic for the 2010 release, where it was charming, a bit off the wall and seemingly kept things quite real. In this film Red Mist - now under the alias of 'Mother F*cker' kills his own mother** in their first scene together, albeit by accident, but still, it's done and they move on.
And this is where I turn into a hypocrite.
Because I complain at the lack of emotion when it comes to Kick-Ass and Chris D'Amico in terms of losing his girlfriend and mother. However, elsewhere, the film is plastered with emotional pep talks between Hit Girl and Kick Ass, that bloody theme, the one when they get soppy, it's probably played the most in the film. It was once inspiring. And it completely takes away from the scenes where generally horrific things do happen. When Kick-Ass loses his father. He's lost his whole family. This is skirted over I feel so quickly, and due to all the emotional baggage elsewhere, in the will-they-won't-they-be-superheros-again, it's almost lost, apart form the fact his Dad is the sweetest character, which helps it to carry weight. I just feel the film makers really need to look at the set up from the first film, what would be upsetting to the characters. Hell yes Kick-Ass cared for Katie and completely undoubtedly Kick-Ass loves his father. These are the driving emotional forces, forget about a few of the pep talks. Why would Hit Girl even bother with all that talking?
Quickly now: lots of the fights scenes were great fun to watch and I really liked Jim Carrey's portrayal of Colonel Stars and Stripes.
There was also one gag that stood out for me due to it's utterly distasteful 'humour'. I should mention again, I haven't read the comics, so I am not looking at this from the perspective of what was kept in and what was written for the film. In the film itself, the scene where Mother-F*cker and one of his cronies get into Night Bitches' house and he attempts to rape her but, after a visual gag of him from behind attempting to 'ready' himself, can't quite pull it through. First of all, before even going into why this is offensive - we've already had that visual gag when Kick-Ass is trying to fix the zip on his costume. There is no need for the second time. Then, there is no need for this scene. It was awful, especially when trying to make it humorous. I read that they decided to alter it drastically from the comic to keep in tone with the movie, yet this use of humour is cheap, degrading and worrying, quite a few people laughed at it in the screen I was in. I feel it would be best if they had kept out that entire scene in her house - they didn't approach it in a way that reflects how awful it is, especially not when it's used for a gag.
I want to stop here. I could go on, rant more, list more things I didn't like about the film. I should probably summarise with this:
For me, Kick-Ass 1 is a great film, it explores a more plausible world for superheroes to grow in than other films, it has a grittiness to it, the pain, the loss's. However it also carries a charm that keeps you watching and warming to the various characters. It also successfully chooses when to be emotional, and those poignant moments really drive home the desperate situation the characters are in.
Kick-Ass 2 takes the success of the first film and just runs off in the wrong direction, with cheap homages to it's predecessor, such as Mindy making hot chocolates for her Dad; taking a melancholic shot from the first film and, in doing so, taking away from the sadness and dampening the character of Hit Girl (who would've considered that a waste of time I reckon). It also refuses to develop new characters. We all got excited when we saw Turk appeared as Dr. Gravity, however it would have been nice to learn more about him, see his character arc, instead of just some new metal spikes for his bat.
This is turning into another rant, let me summarise this much more quickly:
If you haven't already seen Kick-Ass 2 then don't. The first one's awesome though, watch that one.
In other hot off the press news, Hayden reviewed Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines:
"It's just a lot of women walking around naked while men keep singing 'blurred lines'."
** Was that his mother? Or was it one of Friends' cast off Janets with a severe alcohol problem and amazing ability to explain to her son their current situation so clearly that any passing stranger, like say, if Franklin was successfully creeping round their house, could catch up on the past three years of their lives. I don't know, maybe I should watch both again to compare his mother in the films, but right now in the first one in my memory she's like Charlotte from Sex and the City, then the second she's all of a sudden turned into Widow Twanky. Is true.
P.S I'm working a job now that is part time, and by part time I mean full time and by full time I mean all the time. But I'm still going to try and blog at least fortnightly, I will try my best, I promise, unlike Universal Pictures and Marv Studios. AND I'M DONE.
So remember last time I blogged and told you I was going to share more about myself and what I actually do. Well, let's dive head first into this next blog post with some real news about myself and boyfriend Hayden. We are now living in Amsterdam! (hence Blogger automatically turning everything Dutch).
My options are now called 'Opties'.
Yes, we packed up and left Shetland on Monday 16th. A few days into living in Amsterdam and I think I'm settling in comfortably, I bought a bike (bike seat isn't comfortable - Lars, my Swedish DJ flatmate told me it takes about a week for the pain to subside, then you can cycle in ease all the time). I've unpacked and settled into the flat. Also started working out how to register, get a job, bank account, choose life.
I get you Jess
I've never really been unemployed or not studying since I was 15, it feels like I have all the time in the world, and it makes me feel really, really sleepy. I know it's only been a couple of days, I don't want to exaggerate, I suppose the overall feeling is that I don't know exactly when I'll be working again. So, in the midst of applying for forms and that I thought this would be a great time to write a blog. I'm excited to live here, although I will miss family, friends, Shetland, also not to forget the Heavy Metal Buffet and Maddrim (which I will still be working with both while away!) However, since coming here in my childhood for the Summer, it does feel like a home already. And then, Amsterdam blessed me with a surprise visitor, check out this great photo:
SNES and ladybirds - the very embodiment of the Netherlands
Also, what with the internet and it's friendly attributes like Skype I can still talk to my friends. Like Lizzy and Ewan:
It's cool, I don't think they read this blog. They'll never know.
I'm going to keep this blog post short. Mainly because I am about to write one up all about my thoughts on Kick-Ass 2, a review if you will, but before that I wanted to post you some news from my move, and a big HIYI to all, and CHEERIO I suppose.
In a few final notes. Remember that 24 hour film Maddrim made for Screenplay, probably some of the most fun, although very tiring, I've had since Up Helly Aa. That kind of never ending hellery.
Finally, before leaving Shetland, amidst all the packing, goodbyes, wedding and blues (festival) we had a grand old session in the basement recording a four part series of buffet episodes with a live studio audience. This was a great send off and I'd like to thank the audience who came along and the Buffet Team, in particular Dirk, for all the work in preparing that. He is my brother and now he is your brother.
So before you leave, have a listen to the first episode in this four part-er and learn about Dirk, Jamie D's and my favourite buffet moments as well as Five Finger Death Punch's new song Battleborn and, in my opinion the greatest AC/DC song ever. Listen and find out which one it is:
Yes, I have finally learned how to properly insert soundcloud clips. Another revolutionary moment for my blog. Gifs and sounds. Together you've got a film. CHEERIO
I am writing this blog to you whilst sitting on the edge of
the A970 just outside of Lerwick. Dirk, my brother, was driving us out west
when all of a sudden, climbing the brae, his accelerator pedal stopped working,
the wire snapped. He’s away right now, we flagged down a car, he’s getting a
lift to get some parts to fix it. Meanwhile many cars have just driven on by,
all kinds of vehicles, red and white and silver.
Van
I thought, given the time spent sitting in the car before
Dirk get’s back, I’d blog. I had a few plans to blog earlier this week but it
has been hectic. My main aim was to get a blog post written during Screenplay’s
24 hour film challenge. In which Maddrim was given the following requests from
the audience:
Line - “a small step for man, a giant leap for
mankind.”
Prop – a beer bottle
Setting – King Harald Street Play Park
Character – Sensible person
We were given all this at 8pm Thursday and had to have the
film ready to screen at 8.30pm the next day (before the screening of The Exorcist).
We had hashed up a plan of action, drafted a rough script, acquired
specific roles, ate some Chinese takeaway and we were off.
Moving props. Picture from https://twitter.com/maddrim
Thursday night involved filming the first half of the first
section (there were three), capturing and editing, whilst others got props,
wrote the next sections, storyboarded and built to small and two larger
rockets.
I could go into greater detail about the filming and editing
of the 24hourfilm, however that would involve way too many spoilers. All you
need to know is we were up working on it till 4.30am and then we were up again
the following day at 7.30. Shooting right up till tea time while Chris Halcrow
was constantly capturing and editing. We had it finished around six then the
lovely Simon or Ronas Media got the film onto a blue-ray for us. There were
times where I thought I could blog, but then, aside from my leaving lunch with
work colleagues, it was never ending, and it was great.
There was a lot of doubt around the project, and not unrightly so. Film making, in fact, just screening a film can go awry ALL THE
TIME. There was also a worry ideas, plots, the actual film itself would suffer
due to the time restriction in place. This could go on..
I have finally found Spaced gifs.
The enjoy-ability of this blog has increased 23 fold.
So, the film has been shown, it worked. Maybe I'm biased, but I feel it worked so well and I love the finished film so much, it is now one of my all time favourite Maddrim films.
Many thanks to all those who supported, helped and jamp into the project full of enthusiasm. You're credited on the film... which I will post it's own special blog post for once it is online for your eyes.
On a side note, I am now at home in Selivoe. The parts Dirk got to fix the car worked (washer and some nuts) and we made it back to the house by midnight, after stopping along Magnus'. So we got home 11 hours later than planned, I should also mention we were leaving Lerwick itself about 7 hours later than planned, so the car breaking down was just a part of the adventure. HOME SWEET HOME.
Now to a more personal note, I feel that I've also kept this blog on a level of noncoherent thoughts that are usually focussed on film, tv, ipods or buying bread. I never really delve much into my life, what I am doing on a more private level. Reasons for this vary through:
-It's not interesting
-Anyone can read this blog
-I don't want to give the internet too much of my soul
-I'm terrified of conspiracy theories
-TV is the best
However, I think that giving too little information about myself make for very little context of many of the stories here. Also, I am leaving Shetland to move to Amsterdam with my boyfriend Hayden, and if I don't explain that now it's going to be confusing on this blog when all my photos of foodstuffs have name's like HAGELSLAG and APPELSTROOP, which is what I'm about to live off.
Also I think moving to a new country, finding a new job, finding new clubs to join (Dutch Maddrim?) will be interesting, and for me blogging about it will give me another way to meditate and think about how I'm settling in and a nice way to keep in touch with home. I believe blog posts are a nicer way to read what a friends been up to than a quick facebook status update. Although I've been watching Vines on Youtube lately and they are great, I need to get something to make vines on. Like an Ipod3*.
So the first foray into my life I'll tell you about Hayden without saying so much I'd want consent. He's my partner and he has just started studying at the Conservatorium Van Amsterdam on the double bass. The jazz course. He doesn't really know his internet memes, or he has a wicked sense of humour.
Right, I'm off for a swim in the sea and a row. Thanks for reading everyone, just time for the goodbyes, the thankses and the asterix at the end that if you didn't scroll down for earlier I bet you forgot about till now didn't you?
*Note to self: Send apple the series of blog posts about rescuing my ipod from the sea and maybe they'll send me and Ipod3 and by that I mean an Iphone3. That works in Holland.
I hope your all well, I have RSI, so this is being typed with one hand. (You're choice to believe that previo7s statement is totally your own).
1ST FACT OF THIS BLOG POST: People who smoke E-cigarettes also smoke other people's real cigarettes for free.
The RSI is in my right hand, total bummer, so I'm doing everything with my left. I simply have to take timer off when playing Solitaire.
I have been up to many things since blogging last (2012) and am planning to do more things; but if I tell you them now and never go through with them, then this segment will be filled with lies and that's not cool. So, for now I will stick to just writing about what I've done. I've been abroad to a few countries this year: Switzerland, the Netherlands, Orkney. This has been fun, here, have some visual highlights to share on your instagram and snapchats:
Niki and I in Switzerland
Hayden drinking my Heineken in Amsterdam
5* Dune Tour in Orkney
The trip to Orkney could also be called a Crusade of the Heavy Metal Buffet, or Conquest with friends Ten Tonne Dozer, Chrst Alive and Beef Cleaver. The Heavy Metal Buffet and the three bands headed south for a long weekend to put on gigs with local Orkney band, the cuties, called Hybrid Constellation. The reception we received in Orkney was amazing and inspiring, both as a band and as the Buffet, to continue promoting heavy metal both on the podcast and in gigs and cement a link with Orcadians and their metal bands to form a North Sea Network of Heavy Metal. Next up: Faroes - that would be awesome, just listen to Tyr.
Maddrim also collaborated with the HNC Music Course at Mareel from the University of the Highlands and Islands, along with the band Wind-Up Projectiles and a bit of the Heavy Metal Buffet. And we made this:
Ok, BBlogger is not letting me link in a youtube video
And now I'm going to blog about The World's End for a considerable length of time for a considerable length of blog (as in, until my left hand gets pretty tired).
Gary King (Simon Pegg) photo courtesy of collider.com
So, I was very excited to see this film, although it took me a few weeks to get to the cinema to get to see it I managed to avoid all spoilers (save someone saying this cornetto gag was the best to date) and watched the trailer only twice. Although, I would say as a golden rule: never watch a trailer more than twice. The first time you watch a trailer, especially for a film you have been lusting for ever since you've seen pre production tweets coming from those involved in the writing process. Best example was accompanied by this photo:
photo courtesy of filmschoolrejects.com
So, yes, the pre production news builds the excitement and begins expectations, what really cements them is the trailer.
The first time you watch a trailer, more than digesting the contents within it to a great extent, I just get an overall feeling of what I'll expect from the film, second time you pay close attention to characters, potential developments, relationships and memorise the gags. You'll learn too much when you watch it a third time.
BACK TO THE WORLD'S END
START SPOILERS AND THAT
Not going to lie. When I first watched the trailer I was sorely disappointed. Mainly because it looked like a mash up of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, a mash up in the sense they had forgotten about those to previous films they made, thought of two different great ideas: -People desperately trying to get to a pub in a Armageddon style situation -A small outside village/town where something sinister is going on. Then, cause they'd forgotten, they'd already made them, they merged them into a film.
This was the first time I doubted their ingenious.
The film starts brilliantly, I try not to compare things (is what I say) but I do it all the time, it reminded me of the introduction to the second series of spaced. When he reintroduces the characters of the first series to Mr Scruff's Spandex Man and they all freeze in a way that makes you think your DVD is skipping apart from the fact Simon's (or Tim's) soothing voice is still LEADING YOU ON... into the first episode. So yes the start of The World's End was done fantastically, also to music used (magic roundabout) when Daisy Steiner is way to high to get interviewed.
(P.S from here on in this blog post it is now a later date, I'm typing with both hands. Lucky you.)
Actually, this review of mine is going to turn into a very long description so I'm going to bullet points a few of the key moments in the film for me.
The first fight with the blanks in the pub, holy shit the fighting is well choreographed in this film. It looks real, it's satisfying and it's still great fun to watch.
The beaufitful moments of acting that shine through, like when Peter confides in the group at the pub about meeting his old bully, or when Gary tells Andy his Mam died.
One key moment for me, that I did not like, was when Gary tells Sam to leave, drive for freedom, and she does, only returning at the end where she makes a passing comment about getting lost on the roads. I felt this was an example of the lacking for a strong female role within this film.
Although not a key moment, the film perfectly captured the actions and ideas of a group of old friends who are caught in an outlandish situation, trying to survive, when at the same time, continiousluy drinking and becoming ever more inebriated. This was greatly portrayed by all the actors, particularly for me, by Nick Frost, who acts drunk better than any other I've seen. It also paved the way for their mistakes, giggles and emotion filled conversations when you take into account their levels of intoxication.
Another, not quite moment, but many monets, was everytime we got to see one of their friends from another show...
END OF ALL THE SPOILERS
I have to move on. Because weeks have passed since I started writing this... and now it's BUFFET WEEK:
This weekend we will be hosting a two day rock festival in Shetland. I hope to see you there. BYE.
