Don't watch Kick-Ass 2

SPOILERS, SPOILERS EVERYWHERE

So I was going to write a review of Kick-Ass 2. I was going to write this weeks ago, still weeks after it had been out in cinemas. However what with the move and my procrastination and that I never got round to it till now.

Now I find myself struggling to remember all the finer points. I guess this is why reviews are written so quickly. Well, there are many points I discussed with Cara after seeing the film that stick out like sore thumbs for me, sore because they are a blot of ink on the Kick-Ass franchise.

I say franchise, however I haven't read the comics. Something I hadn't really thought of doing, then I heard about some of the discrepancies between the comic and the latest film, now I really don't want to read the comic. More on that, later.

To be honest, really honest, because the way I'm about to write about the film for the rest of this post, I kind of don't want to admit this; when I first saw the film and the end credits started I felt like I'd finally seen a super movie sequel that got it right.

This is because there are so many super hero sequels that go through the exact same motions:
Superhero is superhero
Superhero has self doubt
Superhero loses/removes identity
Superhero's now normal life is threatened/has been hurt by enemy
Superhero regains  identity and brings it

When thinking of Hit Girl, yes, she finds some of the parts of being a teenager and having a social life she had never indulged in before, alright Union J, you can leave the screen now and go back to being background sound. Then she embraces this American High School dream, is date-ditched, then in her own time comes back to being Hit Girl. Wait, that is the formula.

Also, I wanted her to get back at the Queen B and her cronies with something more intelligent than making themselves void their bodies of pretty much everything. I know it just demonstrates the way Hit Girl does not give a shit. But Hit Girl knows how to be discreet. What the hell was that? It just made me feel sick.

Let's look at Kick-Ass himself now, yeah, he just got dumped by Katie and doesn't even seem to care. What is this? Their relationship was so carefully worked on in the first film, well I thought so anyway. The sequel was just making me nostalgic for the 2010 release, where it was charming, a bit off the wall and seemingly kept things quite real. In this film Red Mist - now under the alias of 'Mother F*cker' kills his own mother** in their first scene together, albeit by accident, but still, it's done and they move on.


And this is where I turn into a hypocrite.


Because I complain at the lack of emotion when it comes to Kick-Ass and Chris D'Amico in terms of losing his girlfriend and mother. However, elsewhere, the film is plastered with emotional pep talks between Hit Girl and Kick Ass, that bloody theme, the one when they get soppy, it's probably played the most in the film. It was once inspiring. And it completely takes away from the scenes where generally horrific things do happen. When Kick-Ass loses his father. He's lost his whole family. This is skirted over I feel so quickly, and due to all the emotional baggage elsewhere, in the will-they-won't-they-be-superheros-again, it's almost lost, apart form the fact his Dad is the sweetest character, which helps it to carry weight. I just feel the film makers really need to look at the set up from the first film, what would be upsetting to the characters. Hell yes Kick-Ass cared for Katie and completely undoubtedly Kick-Ass loves his father. These are the driving emotional forces, forget about a few of the pep talks. Why would Hit Girl even bother with all that talking?


Quickly now: lots of the fights scenes were great fun to watch and I really liked Jim Carrey's portrayal of Colonel Stars and Stripes.


There was also one gag that stood out for me due to it's utterly distasteful 'humour'. I should mention again, I haven't read the comics, so I am not looking at this from the perspective of what was kept in and what was written for the film. In the film itself, the scene where Mother-F*cker and one of his cronies get into Night Bitches' house and he attempts to rape her but, after a visual gag of him from behind attempting to 'ready' himself, can't quite pull it through. First of all, before even going into why this is offensive - we've already had that visual gag when Kick-Ass is trying to fix the zip on his costume. There is no need for the second time. Then, there is no need for this scene. It was awful, especially when trying to make it humorous. I read that they decided to alter it drastically from the comic to keep in tone with the movie, yet this use of humour is cheap, degrading and worrying, quite a few people laughed at it in the screen I was in. I feel it would be best if they had kept out that entire scene in her house - they didn't approach it in a way that reflects how awful it is, especially not when it's used for a gag.

I want to stop here. I could go on, rant more, list more things I didn't like about the film. I should probably summarise with this:

For me, Kick-Ass 1 is a great film, it explores a more plausible world for superheroes to grow in than other films, it has a grittiness to it, the pain, the loss's. However it also carries a charm that keeps you watching and warming to the various characters. It also successfully chooses when to be emotional, and those poignant moments really drive home the desperate situation the characters are in.

Kick-Ass 2 takes the success of the first film and just runs off in the wrong direction, with cheap homages to it's predecessor, such as Mindy making hot chocolates for her Dad; taking a melancholic shot from the first film and, in doing so, taking away from the sadness and dampening the character of Hit Girl (who would've considered that a waste of time I reckon). It also refuses to develop new characters. We all got excited when we saw Turk appeared as Dr. Gravity, however it would have been nice to learn more about him, see his character arc, instead of just some new metal spikes for his bat.



This is turning into another rant, let me summarise this much more quickly:

If you haven't already seen Kick-Ass 2 then don't. The first one's awesome though, watch that one.



In other hot off the press news, Hayden reviewed Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines:

"It's just a lot of women walking around naked while men keep singing 'blurred lines'."

More old new reviews coming, in a long time away.


CHEERIO


Thanks to:
http://collider.com/kick-ass-2-sequel-posters/
http://swishost.com/


** Was that his mother? Or was it one of Friends' cast off Janets with a severe alcohol problem and amazing ability to explain to her son their current situation so clearly that any passing stranger, like say, if Franklin was successfully creeping round their house, could catch up on the past three years of their lives. I don't know, maybe I should watch both again to compare his mother in the films, but right now in the first one in my memory she's like Charlotte from Sex and the City, then the second she's all of a sudden turned into Widow Twanky. Is true.


P.S I'm working a job now that is part time, and by part time I mean full time and by full time I mean all the time. But I'm still going to try and blog at least fortnightly, I will try my best, I promise, unlike Universal Pictures and Marv Studios. AND I'M DONE.

Everything on Blogger is now Dutch

So remember last time I blogged and told you I was going to share more about myself and what I actually do. Well, let's dive head first into this next blog post with some real news about myself and boyfriend Hayden. We are now living in Amsterdam! (hence Blogger automatically turning everything Dutch).

My options are now called 'Opties'.

Yes, we packed up and left Shetland on Monday 16th. A few days into living in Amsterdam and I think I'm settling in comfortably, I bought a bike (bike seat isn't comfortable - Lars, my Swedish DJ flatmate told me it takes about a week for the pain to subside, then you can cycle in ease all the time). I've unpacked and settled into the flat. Also started working out how to register, get a job, bank account, choose life.

I get you Jess

I've never really been unemployed or not studying since I was 15, it feels like I have all the time in the world, and it makes me feel really, really sleepy. I know it's only been a couple of days, I don't want to exaggerate, I suppose the overall feeling is that I don't know exactly when I'll be working again. So, in the midst of applying for forms and that I thought this would be a great time to write a blog. I'm excited to live here, although I will miss family, friends, Shetland, also not to forget the Heavy Metal Buffet and Maddrim (which I will still be working with both while away!) However, since coming here in my childhood for the Summer, it does feel like a home already. And then, Amsterdam blessed me with a surprise visitor, check out this great photo:

SNES and ladybirds - the very embodiment of the Netherlands

Also, what with the internet and it's friendly attributes like Skype I can still talk to my friends. Like Lizzy and Ewan:

It's cool, I don't think they read this blog. They'll never know.

I'm going to keep this blog post short. Mainly because I am about to write one up all about my thoughts on Kick-Ass 2, a review if you will, but before that I wanted to post you some news from my move, and a big HIYI to all, and CHEERIO I suppose.

In a few final notes. Remember that 24 hour film Maddrim made for Screenplay, probably some of the most fun, although very tiring, I've had since Up Helly Aa. That kind of never ending hellery.

See blog post:
Accelerator Cables? Where we're going we don't need accelerator cables..

Here is our 24 hour film Small Steps:

Finally, before leaving Shetland, amidst all the packing, goodbyes, wedding and blues (festival) we had a grand old session in the basement recording a four part series of buffet episodes with a live studio audience. This was a great send off and I'd like to thank the audience who came along and the Buffet Team, in particular Dirk, for all the work in preparing that. He is my brother and now he is your brother.

So before you leave, have a listen to the first episode in this four part-er and learn about Dirk, Jamie D's and my favourite buffet moments as well as Five Finger Death Punch's new song Battleborn and, in my opinion the greatest AC/DC song ever. Listen and find out which one it is:




Yes, I have finally learned how to properly insert soundcloud clips. Another revolutionary moment for my blog. Gifs and sounds. Together you've got a film.


CHEERIO

Coming soon: Why not to watch Kick-Ass 3


Thanks to:
http://heyitsanythingandeverything.tumblr.com/
Skype
Lars on the sage seat advice

Accelerator Cables? Where we're going we don't need accelerator cables..

You are wrong Doc.

I am writing this blog to you whilst sitting on the edge of the A970 just outside of Lerwick. Dirk, my brother, was driving us out west when all of a sudden, climbing the brae, his accelerator pedal stopped working, the wire snapped. He’s away right now, we flagged down a car, he’s getting a lift to get some parts to fix it. Meanwhile many cars have just driven on by, all kinds of vehicles, red and white and silver. 

Van

I thought, given the time spent sitting in the car before Dirk get’s back, I’d blog. I had a few plans to blog earlier this week but it has been hectic. My main aim was to get a blog post written during Screenplay’s 24 hour film challenge. In which Maddrim was given the following requests from the audience:

    Line - “a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind.”

    Prop – a beer bottle

    Setting – King Harald Street Play Park

    Character – Sensible person

We were given all this at 8pm Thursday and had to have the film ready to screen at 8.30pm the next day (before the screening of The Exorcist).

We had hashed up a plan of action, drafted a rough script, acquired specific roles, ate some Chinese takeaway and we were off.

Moving props. Picture from https://twitter.com/maddrim 

Thursday night involved filming the first half of the first section (there were three), capturing and editing, whilst others got props, wrote the next sections, storyboarded and built to small and two larger rockets.

I could go into greater detail about the filming and editing of the 24hourfilm, however that would involve way too many spoilers. All you need to know is we were up working on it till 4.30am and then we were up again the following day at 7.30. Shooting right up till tea time while Chris Halcrow was constantly capturing and editing. We had it finished around six then the lovely Simon or Ronas Media got the film onto a blue-ray for us. There were times where I thought I could blog, but then, aside from my leaving lunch with work colleagues, it was never ending, and it was great.

There was a lot of doubt around the project, and not unrightly so. Film making, in fact, just screening a film can go awry ALL THE TIME. There was also a worry ideas, plots, the actual film itself would suffer due to the time restriction in place. This could go on..

I have finally found Spaced gifs.
The enjoy-ability of this blog has increased 23 fold.

So, the film has been shown, it worked. Maybe I'm biased, but I feel it worked so well and I love the finished film so much, it is now one of my all time favourite Maddrim films.

Many thanks to all those who supported, helped and jamp into the project full of enthusiasm. You're credited on the film... which I will post it's own special blog post for once it is online for your eyes.

On a side note, I am now at home in Selivoe. The parts Dirk got to fix the car worked (washer and some nuts) and we made it back to the house by midnight, after stopping along Magnus'. So we got home 11 hours later than planned, I should also mention we were leaving Lerwick itself about 7 hours later than planned, so the car breaking down was just a part of the adventure. HOME SWEET HOME.

Now to a more personal note, I feel that I've also kept this blog on a level of noncoherent thoughts that are usually focussed on film, tv, ipods or buying bread. I never really delve much into my life, what I am doing on a more private level. Reasons for this vary through: 

-It's not interesting

-Anyone can read this blog

-I don't want to give the internet too much of my soul

-I'm terrified of conspiracy theories

-TV is the best

However, I think that giving too little information about myself make for very little context of many of the stories here. Also, I am leaving Shetland to move to Amsterdam with my boyfriend Hayden, and if I don't explain that now it's going to be confusing on this blog when all my photos of foodstuffs have name's like HAGELSLAG and APPELSTROOP, which is what I'm about to live off.

Also I think moving to a new country, finding a new job, finding new clubs to join (Dutch Maddrim?) will be interesting, and for me blogging about it will give me another way to meditate and think about how I'm settling in and a nice way to keep in touch with home. I believe blog posts are a nicer way to read what a friends been up to than a quick facebook status update. Although I've been watching Vines on Youtube lately and they are great, I need to get something to make vines on. Like an Ipod3*.

So the first foray into my life I'll tell you about Hayden without saying so much I'd want consent. He's my partner and he has just started studying at the Conservatorium Van Amsterdam on the double bass. The jazz course. He doesn't really know his internet memes, or he has a wicked sense of humour.

_____________________________________________________________________

From: Hayden Hook
Sent: 13 August 2013 12:45
To: Robertson Marjolein
Subject: Re: 

hay there no credit

but ye come over at 1:00

xxxxxxxx

______________________________________________________________________

From: Robertson Marjolein
Sent: 13 August 2013 12:50
To: Hayden Hook
Subject: Re:

Cool will do. Maybe five past one.

______________________________________________________________________

From: Hayden Hook
Sent: 13 August 2013 12:53
To: Robertson Marjolein
Subject: Re:

          thats you with straight teeth

______________________________________________________________________

She does have the most exceptional teeth.

Right, I'm off for a swim in the sea and a row. Thanks for reading everyone, just time for the goodbyes, the thankses and the asterix at the end that if you didn't scroll down for earlier I bet you forgot about till now didn't you?

Thanks to:

http://zogga-san.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/maddrim 

http://fuckyeahspacedgifs.tumblr.com

www.businessinsider.com  

*Note to self: Send apple the series of blog posts about rescuing my ipod from the sea and maybe they'll send me and Ipod3 and by that I mean an Iphone3. That works in Holland.