Saturday, 14 October 2017

Why I have a good knowledge of HTML


How great/terrible was Neopets?


Great because it was the best thing ever.

Terrible because it was the best thing ever and took up all my time/the family's internet/phone cause that's still when we were on the ol' one line dial up.

So for anyone who doesn't know what Neopets is, you are missing out on your second life. Actually Second Life is a thing, and anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's your second life, and if you know of Neopets but not Second Life you are missing your third. I stop this now.

Anyway. Neopets is a whole world (well the world is Neopia) but it's this website where you have these pets and they can have pets and you can paint all of them with brushes and feed them and battle them and go on quests and build a house and collect your interest from the bank and talk to strangers in the chatrooms.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

Imagine this film...



Picture this:

Ok, so Will Smith is a cop, I was thinking it was in LA. Wherever he is, he lives with his family in a dodgy neighbourhood. Right next to a gang. And he has hilarious banter with them like, one time, when killing fairies in his garden:

The gang's all like "That's not allowed!" 
and Will is all "Today it is"
as he pounds the fairy with a broom.


Anyway, on his cop duties, for better integration of different folks within the force Will Smith is paired with a Goblin. To be a shining example for all creatures.


I know what you're thinking: 
it's a lot like Zootropolis/Zootopia. 



But bare with it because, during a police shift, Will and the Goblin go and do police work in places like Elf Land and Pixie Place. In one of these quarters they find this misfit girl, probably some kind of Fairie, and she has this extremely powerful Magic Wand. It can grant wishes. (Queue scene with hilarious banter on what they'd wish for). Anyway, some evil pixies and elves want it. So there's a lot of car chase sequences, including a Skoda or something. Then they have to work as an unlikely cop duo to save the girl and secure the wand.

Sunday, 1 October 2017

I have been thinking today

Is there a name for the feeling when  you open your purse after a night out and then there's no cash left and you're horrified and confused and paranoid and disappointed in yourself and it's all those feelings in one go and you're hungover?


I NEED TO BE ABLET O FIND THESE WORDS*

Why do they tell you (Mams) that you need to put on new underwear in case you get hit by a bus and end up in hospital so as to impress the Nurses with your clean pants? Because surely if you were hit by a bus you would shit yourself.



Why do we spend so much time and energy adorning our fleshy outers. What good is that. Why is that part so important?